On August 18, 2008 I was told that I had cancer.
Today is my Survivor Day.
Today I reflect on the magnitude of my disease and give thanks that I am here to kiss my husband every morning before he goes to work and hug my daughter every night when she goes to bed. That I can visit my friends and family whenever I want. That I can pursue my dreams and make people happy.
Along with all these feeling of thanks, I also have feelings of guilt. Why am I here and Steve not? Why is Mary Ellen gone? Why is 5 year old Gabby having to fight SO HARD. It's hard for me to deal with the emotions that come with being a survivor. I'm not so sure about that whole "greater plan" thing. I think it's a lot more like luck. I'm just fortunate, and I NEVER take that for granted.
So thank you to my Breast Surgeon for giving me a huge hug last week and telling me not to come back for a year. Thank you to my Oncologist for reminding me (once again) how LUCKY I am that we were able to treat my cancer....and for telling me not to come back for 6 months. Thank you to my Plastic Surgeon for being so driven to help me get back everything that I lost. Thank you to my Primary Doctor for giving me hope that there's some combination of prescriptions out there that will help balance my horrid hot flashes. And the biggest thanks of all to my OB/Gyn who was proactive enough to send a 30 year old for a mammogram.